Thursday, April 17, 2008


Today I thought I would do something different. Most of the people that know me have said that they did not know I could be so serious. Well how about this.

Things not to say to a cop when he stops you:

1) I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.

2) Hey, is that a 9mm? That's nothing compared to this 44 magnum.

3) Hey, you must have been doing 125 to keep up with me, good job.

4) Sorry officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.

5) I was going to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.

6) What do you mean have I been drinking? You are the trained specialist.

7) Wow, you look just like the guy in the picture on my girlfriends night stand.

8) I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there is no other car around, that's how far they are ahead of me.

9) Is it true that people become cops because they are too dumb to work at McDonalds?

10) Well, when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my gun fell off of my lap and got lodged between the brake and the gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control.

11) Excuse stick up hyphenated?

12) I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a cop.

13) I almost decided to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.

14) Bad cop! No donut!

15) You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?

16) Gee, that gut sure doesn't inspire confidence.

17) Didn't I see you get your ass kicked on COPS?

18) Who me?

19) See what had happened was ....

20) I pay your salary!

21) So, uh, you on the take, or what?

22) Gee, Officer...that's terrific...the last officer only gave me a warning too!

23) Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.

24) Hey, can you give me another one of those full cavity searches?

Some these were actually funny. Number 14 is my favorite.


Anonymous said...

lol tooo cute

Greg said...

I used to work in a bar that had a big sign hanging that said "bad cop, no doughnut". The owner hated cops, and as soon as he found out I was working for the sheriffs department, he stopped talking to me. This is the same guy that I played hockey with since I was a kid. We were best friends for a long time. I guess he was not that good of a friend after all!

Aza said...

Welcome to the blogosphere, love this post!

I got Kojak over at Glock N' Cuffs a new motorcycle helemt for his birthday. With the helmet I included a few stickers for being #14, "Bad Cop! No Donut!" He used to have a larger version of it in his cruiser until the department started the 'no more sticker' policy.

Jables said...

I in joyed reading this post, serious
or not I think it is good you can tell a good joke.

#14 is the best of them ALL!!

Angie said...

My favorite is 19, only because I tend to use it (as a joke, not seriously)
This was a good post!

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